My Killing Rage

Elementary school teachers drilled the importance of Martin Luther King Jr. and his philosophy of nonviolence in my impressionable mind. Middle and high school teachers introduced the “by any means necessary” ode of Malcolm El-Hajj Shabazz (Malcolm X). Undergrad abandoned me and forced me to survive on my own through the autobiography of Assata Shakur. Life opened a grave new spectrum, filled with anger, inequality, injustice and a fading history. Day to day activities held police brutality, racism and sexism. Each aspect of my growth enhanced my killing rage.

Yes, we have come a long way from slavery but blacks are still looked at as three-fifths human. We have proven time and time again our capabilities of being seen as equal but there is embedded hatred for our uprising. bell hooks' essay “Killing Rage” has inspired me to express my own rage toward the white male patriarchal system and its continued oppression. Black men have the "John Henry" effect where even the scrawny are seen to have the ability to beat the machine. The sharp number of ignorant whites and blacks have fed the system of what we are living today. The education system is the first wave of artillery.

The implementation of the federal “No Child Left Behind Act” has started the destruction of an importance of creativity and the wonderment of imagination. The average parent is now forced to work an eight hour shift and fill-in the massive blanks that the education system is starting to leave out. After-school programs are getting cut, the arts are being excess from the budget and passing a test is more important than a real history lesson. Everything is systematic if we like it or not. There is always a means to an end. The powers that be are creating efforts to change and modify education are not doing it with a kind heart. There are no lessons that teach real world experiences and the ability to create your own.

Our past heroes had the right idea pertaining to integration but we had to succumb to the education system that omitted our history. We had to assimilate into a society that didn't care about the outcome of our intelligence. Years passed by of continued brainwashing and subliminal messages, clouding the judgment and leaving an impression on our youth. I have noticed that the disconnection between society and those in charge is unreal. People want us to see things as colorless but blackness is reminded in every negative way possible. Our positive images are infiltrated and the chosen few have become brainwashed.

Why does every day have to be a fight when it comes to embracing culture?

What exactly is the right way?

Every individual has a unique definition of normal and shouldn't be afraid to embrace their existence. The poor neighborhoods are ransacked with patrol cars and beat cops. The search for every infraction is magnetized in the “slums.” Rich crime is overlooked and to the masses seems as if crime can be paid off.

Why is the poor under attack from those who are supposed to protect and serve?

To be poor in the United States is to be criminalized and condemned by the powers that be. I wonder how can an officer of the law who may have been born in a poor neighborhood and environment surrender to persecuting their people. We are being taught to fend for self and to leave the community behind.

Where did we lose our humanity?

Where is the pay it forward attitude of the past?

Civil rights leaders were not thinking standards during their fight. They were focused on changing the future. Within changing the future something went awry and we’re faced with this present police nation. The thing that perplexes me the most is the people who don’t want to see the connection with race. They are the people who side with happenstance when the numbers show facts and coincidence.

There will always be questions with so many and no answers. We have to prepare for the future and the ones will obtain the power of change. My killing rage may or may not be justified but I, like the community of Ferguson, am tired of the injustice and inequality. Embrace your killing rage, be the change you want to see and pay it forward.